Candy

has been a very long time.........

我在流着眼泪纪念两件事情：姥姥在去年圣诞节这天的去世，　我想她一定是开心的去了另外一个世界；我的失败的感情经历，　那是一段本来就不应该开始却带给我太多虚幻的快乐的世界。

结束了快乐的纽约之行， 我知道也应该是时候安心坐下来想一想规划一下人生了。 好不容易提交了两个大投行的申请， 累死我了， 才发现原来自己对于美国的金融市场知道的是如此的少。 唉， 逼着自己把financial times的网页作为了自己的主页， 都研究生了， 也改好好想想自己到底喜欢什么，今后要做什么。 下个学期应该比较累吧， 上课， 找实习， 准备cfa考试。在国内找工作的时候没觉得自己会干什么， offer还是大把大把的来， 出国前觉得自己英语很好， 出来还是发现很多时候不知别人在干什么。唉， 加油吧，总有一天会好起来的：）

想想自己是不是太过分了， 居然要笨笨去给我买红色的那些东西。 我知道他一定是害羞的， 站的远远的不敢过去却又要完成我交给的任务。 呵呵， 宝贝没关系， 你不好意思去买就不要去了， 以后你陪我一起去， 专挑你喜欢的颜色和样子。

呜呜， 笨笨我好饿。 快要饿死了， 我已经越来越不喜欢自己做饭了， 太麻烦了。 昨天晚上做梦梦见回了北京， 把我给高兴的。 我现在终于可以理解环珠格格里面的一个镜头， 小燕子从黑心的老板那里放出来以后回到皇宫欢天喜地的啃鸡腿的场面， 吃的那叫一个着急！！！！哎，我估计我要是哪天回了北京你带我出去吃饭的时候我也会把你吓着的， 呜呜。 我想吃水煮鱼， 火锅， 哪怕是鱼香肉丝也可以阿。 为什么上天这么不公平， 有的人吃火锅吃的肚子疼， 有的人却想火锅吃也想的肚子疼。 呜呜呜呜。。。。

世界上总流传着许多离奇的故事，就好像波士顿Red Sox，在86年的背比卢斯魔咒下，今年终于拿到了几代人魂牵梦系的职棒大联盟冠军。而同样的魔咒也应验在美国的总统竞选中：在过去的80年中，每次总统大选日之前的周末，如果华盛顿红人队(Washington Redskins)在橄榄球联赛中赢球，那么现任的总统将在大选中连任，而如果一旦红人队输球，那么在总统大选中将是在野党候选人获胜。 这则神话延绵八十年，连续十七届总统大选准确的预测选战结果。而今年红人队在上周的职业联赛中输给了Green Bay，这给克里支持者们在大选前带来了一剂有力的强心针，而布什的支持者们却不以为然，他们认为既然今年红袜队能够打破86年的贝比鲁斯魔咒，那为什么布什不能打破80年的”红人神话“呢？

事实证明， 神话果然破灭。 美国的历史再次被刷新了。。。。

Bush won the election . Everyone in Brandeis is so sad:( Here in MA, lots of people are Kerry supporters. So it is misleading if you came here right now and would thought definitely Kerry will win. Anyway, it will not be a difference for me no matter who wins. The sad thing is I cannot go to the fabulous copley this weekend to listen to Kerry 's victory commencement:(  Good luck ! America! Good luck, Yaqing!

I do not know why Benben always say something to me that is untrue. Yes, he told me the password of his MSN, and he said all his password is univrersal. I logged on QQ today after homework  assignment and  I logged on his jsut for a try. I did not mean to discover all his secret, just for fun. And the system reflected back it is a wrong password. If he is not happy to give me his password, talked to me instead of telling me something "that is univrsal to all his account".

Though the previous record of MSN, I thought he only talked with her for cerntain days, not that often, Later, I found out the record is automatically cut down because I saw the previous record of us, and it is the fragment too, not everything.    I can recognize now there are some records unshowm according to the content of the talk. SIgn, he told me he seldom talk with her as early as JUNE, then how comes the large passage of those talks?  I do not know how much I can still trust him.

I do not want a quarrel anymore, hope I can survive those terrible days with the upcoming mid-terms......

I learned that Red Sox won the national baseball championship a few minutes ago by a tel from friend. My poor little girl, I can not recognize the rule for baseball untill now. Seems I have to catch up with others soon, I can not really be a Bostonian if I am not a Red Sox fan and a baseball animal!!

I met a friend on MSN today who just reached Cambridge a week before. We talked a little while, strange, neither of us like the kind of new life we are having right now. I am sure lots of people will admire the guy who can have a graduate study in Cambridge and myself, who can come to the US. But we two on the contrary, are admiring those friends'life in China right now. Strange? I guess people will never satisfy with the things when they really get it , even though it takes plenty time and efforts before they actually get them . such is human being:(

Benben will have a tour with his frist American speaker tomorrow, o , probably righ now. I will prey for him to be a comfortable journey:

Today’s apprentice was cancelled because of the debate between Kerry & Bush. Actually this is the last debate between them and I enjoyed it. First, we won’t have such thing in China. Second, it was better than I expected.

 

Compared with the debate in Trump’s boardroom, Kerry & Bush’s debate was much more presentable and mature in that both sides. They  went into  issues rather than personal attacks. I won’t be surprised if they did so. But it turned out much better without it. No doubt that Kerry and Bush love this country and want America to be safe and strong, but it seems that Kerry was more persuasive tonight with his plan to rebuild America’s international image. What appealed me most  was his plan to create more job oopotunities and increase health insureance coverage in this country. America does need a better PR…

the past week was really a busy one and this week will be even worse. I did not expect life in a B-school in the US would be such a mess. Especially at this time period with three mid-term exams in the corner, lots of papres due and bunches of cases to read.

I stayed up late untill 2 am yesterday and at 1am I received a friend's call who was still in the department at that time. I can hardly imagine a girl had to walk back home which is off-campus at mid-night alone....  Anyway, we all come to Brandeis , to the US , struggle for a better future, and I hope it will be one.....

今天自己学了很多东西哦， 中午第一次in my life to cook shrimp myself, according to myroommate's comment, it is pretty nice:) 

中午maowei gave me a call and asked whether i can help him with a haircut.  Finally , I finish that in half an hour. but when I saw him in class this afternoon, I thought his hair looked really short. He told me he went to the haircut shop finally for 15 bucks. Oh, i secewed things up. But frankly speaking, i think what i did is much better than the haircut shop. hehe

I had a nice day today. we went to apple picking in the morning and after that a pretty nice barbeque at the Dean's Summer House in New Hemphere which is about two hours' drive from Brandeis. I saw the other side of American life that is filled with relaxation, joy and family hormony. Wish Benben and I could afford such a big house in the future where we can spend our weekends.

Benben, let us cheer up. You see, there is plenty of chances you will come to the Us this year and be with me in early June, and we can celebrate that in March when you will get lots of offers:) Only five months ahead. Even if no offer this year, we can consider either Delaware or even F2. Or the worst thing, you can wait for me two years and begin to earn money for house or something in Beijing.

Life will be colorful and we can be together, I still remember your words: you want me to be proud of you and I am waiting for that day~~

Benben,

i just gave you a call this morning and we were not in a hamonious mood i guess, i did not know what happened to make you have no confidence on me, maybe i said something made you unhappy?  i did not mean that . I am not that kind of girl who treat love affairs randomly.

Actually i do not want to call you these days, whenever i called, either the line is busy or noboday answered that even in the mid-night. If i did not try , then i will not have such worry and bitterness. Also, you did not call me for a long time like three weeks, though i know it is much cheaper for me to call back , but  things are the same everywhere beyond China and you still used to call sigpore regularly before...

i really do not want to mention these trivial things often to you, i wrote them down just because i wanted you to know my feelings here. I am in the US alone and I have to handle everything myself, the beginning days in a new envirement is not always pleasure and happiness, i do not want to mention too much pressure and unhappiniess to my parents and u , i want you all hear the good news from me.

I always treat you as the  serendipity in my life .  And i try to convince myself the future is bright just as what you like to say to me. i went through all the QQ records between us last night and it is quite a memory, a sweet memory.  I want we two can be happy together, though we can not see each in person and feel each. I really miss you baby, and right now i can only see you in the dreams. i really want to kiss you and lie in your arms for ever, which seems to be a big luxury right now. OK. i will stop here , wish you a happy seven-day holiday!

笨笨我刚才给你打电话了， 家里面没有人接，手机也关机了。 我不知道发生了什么， 刚才去看了看我们的聊天纪录， 的确是3月26号见的第一面。 我看了好半天， 全都是过去的清晰的历史， 什么感觉都有。

“感觉...挺好的...挺有怀旧的感觉
现在发现真正咱俩见第一次面还不到一个月，可是我觉得咱俩好像认识好久好久好久了......

我觉得在你不理我，让我难受的时候，抑或你出国了，看这些会让我流泪的... ”

就是这种感觉吧。我突然觉得现在好想你啊， 我甚至都有了现在就去订一张春节回国的机票的冲动。 我一会会在试着给你打一个电话， 如果还是没有人接的话你就要给我解释你今天晚上去干什么了， 哼。 不许不乖，那样我会伤心的。

呜呜， 笨笨退步了， 以前在我睡觉之前如果没有和我说晚安的话还知道上来和我说一声。昨天我去睡觉的时候他不知道跑到哪里去了， 到我今天早晨睡醒也没有出现过。 哼， 臭笨奔。

Mid-autumn day is coming. I receive many greetings from my previous friends:) I am OK here, though busy and a little bit uncomfortable. But i will try to perform as good as all you had expected.

" 农历的八月十五就是就要到了，在这周二。你可能都忙得顾不了这些吧。不过大家发着短信的时候，还是想到了异地的你。" Thank you sweetheart.

"听到这首歌，觉得很想送给你，祝节日快乐。

上弦月 - 郑秀文
你搭乘的班机已起飞飞过了换日线
到另一边那里冬天会下雪
你和谁一起过中秋节
给你的信邮票没有贴一封封叠在我抽屉里面
望着窗外的上弦月人在异乡的你恐怕已忽略
你是否已经看见上弦月
看它慢慢地圆慢慢缺
缺成爱情里的不完美
圆在心里变成感谢
你是否还会记得上弦月
等它慢慢地缺慢慢圆
圆了有情人赴今生约缺成我最孤单的想念
你试着抬头看看上弦月看得疲倦不妨闭上眼
如果你的眼角还有泪也许它没听见你的心愿 "  Yes, i like this song, after you wrote all those words down, i downloaded the song into my laptop.

"昨天回了一趟经贸大，有些想念以前中秋大家讨论去哪儿吃一顿的日子：）但是snifferlin有一句话说得好，但愿人长久，千里共婵娟！ " hehe, try to eat as many mooncakes as you can, so you help me to eat my share.  

Missing you all guys! I will prey here for your peacefulness and happyness.

 I know the  French way of greeting!-- 2 kisses, 3 kisses and 4 kisses, depending on which part of France he/she comes from... Benben , Cheeks up and let me greet you in the french way!....

看书累了， 无聊中跑去看星座， 却发现了这样的一个收获：１２星座男生无论如何都吵不过的女生，　往后面一看，　呵呵呵呵，　狮子座男生无论如何都吵不过摩诘

It is the Friedy night, I am going to have the first weekend after landing in the US. But really nothing to do. I know there is an activity tonight to go to the pub like dancing, drinking and chatting, however, I do not like to go there, I am afraid I may get mentally lost if I go to such activity a lot.

Hehe, when I write those word I saw benben log in , how strange! I still remember when I first come to the US , I was visiting Benben's blog and write something there, then benen get on, it was midnight in China. and this time when I am updating my blog, he logs on too. I guess we have something in the heart to communicate with each other, even we can not see each other at present. Ok , I will go to talk with him.:) 

Finally, I landed in the US safely and I knew there are lots of people staying in mainland China preying for me all the way round.  US, it is a place I am dreaming for since the days I was remembering new words for GRE test, but when I landed there, the first thing I did was crying! Strange? 

This is the first day of class, the fifth day since I arrived here, I guess I am getting used to such kind of new life. I have to handle everything myslef, register, course selection ,  bank account, remembre lots of strange names, cooking, shopping and looking for some second-hand stuff like a TV set or maybe in the future, a car I guess.

New life begins and I am ready!!

It is the last day of my career, if I dare call it a career, which lasted for a little more than five weeks.  Right now , I really have a very complicated feeling. I know I still have a lot of things to handle, to break up the contract, to pay the compensation fee, to say gooodbye to many friends and to make final preparation for my trip to the US ,  to accompany parents and benben.  

Actually , I had a good time here in Shenhua holding,  nice colleges, regular working hours, no pressure, the only thing I regret for is I did not learn as much as I had expected.  The thing I learned most valuble is I really have so much things to learn in the future, I have to pay great efforts if I want to stand out in the future, to make my parents' investment  really worthwhile.  LIfe long learnig is quite a sentence I can understand now.

Augest.26 is just around the corner, bless all the people who love me and I love .

Why I can write something here with out the password? ??  Strange

I woke up quite early this morning ... around 5am. In fact, I was very sleepy, but I can not fall asleep any more.  There was some little unhappy things  happened last night,  and unhappyness around this issue was more than three!!   Things became even worse by the time I was going to work.   Am I too sensitive?  After all, I am a girl and I have my own emotional feelings.

Hope this is the last time and as time goes by, I will forget all about these.

I received two e-mails this morning when I opened my mail box. They are all from one of my close friends, however, they are not actually for me.....   they came to the wrong destination.

From the e-mail, I seemed got a little secret of her,  which I totally did not want to know about. Because it did not get along with her image in my mind. I guessed her was in a complex feeling when she was writing the letter, that is also why it came to me in the end. Anyway, I felt uncomfortale after receiving this e-mail.......

It is a quarter to two in the noon,  I am still idle in the office.  Guess where I work? As a big four staff,  this is indeed a festivel plus a big meal!  I used to be horrified of a auditor's life, though most of those were heard from people who never been an auditor before.  Right now, I have worked for three weeks more or less and I think it is still OK, although on the forth day of my work, I stay in the office for overtime untill 11'o clock in the evening. When I walked out of the office building, I saw all the lights off except the 8th floor,  that is where our offices located, and I knew some staffs were still doing their shares there.                   HUhuhu, all the nightmares had gone, it is a peace period these time and I am enjoying life, family and Beijing, hehe .

My parents will arrive at Beijing tomorrow.  I will go to the rail station to pick them up.    They will have a long summer vocation as they are both university staff. Together with them will be my granny, whom I did not see for a semester either.

My aunt will wait us at home,  I guess there will be a big family get-together.

A little secret:  some snack and new clothes will arrive at the same time. HUHU

　

I spent those days , like three weeks as a professionl, an audit staff in KPMG.  This is the first full time job I ever had, after leave university for only less than one month.

It used to be a kind of life I had been dreaming for.......clean suit, spacious ofice, handsome guys to work with ,and .... the pleasant smell of coffee surrounded.  Hehe , like what I watch on TV shows.